Leaders & Loneliness: An Overlooked Reality

Practical Steps to Overcome Leadership Isolation

Leadership and Loneliness

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I was summoned to the president’s office.

Okay, maybe "summoned" is a bit too dramatic.

But as a young professional early in my career, being invited to meet with the president of our company felt monumental.

He had scheduled a one-on-one meeting with me to review our product launch strategy. What stood out was that there were three reporting levels above me, yet he wanted to hear the plan directly from the source. In hindsight, I realize it was also a development opportunity—a chance for me to gain exposure at the top early in my career.

I was excited—and a little nervous. Armed with my PowerPoint slides, I was ready. My manager offered a few last words of advice: "You know your stuff, you will do great." Honestly, all I could think about at the moment was “don’t screw it up!”

I made my way to the top floor of our building. Rarely did I have reason to press that button in the elevator. When the doors opened, I stepped into a long corridor lined with awards and photos showcasing our company’s storied history.

Finally, I reached the president’s office—or so I thought.

I knocked on the door and stepped inside, only to find myself in the administrative assistant’s room. She greeted me warmly and directed me to a small waiting area. It felt oddly similar to sitting in a dentist’s office. Help!

After a few minutes, her phone rang. She exchanged a few words, hung up, and smiled at me. "You can go in now," she said.

And with that, it was time.

As I opened the door to his enormous office, the dark mahogany wood covered walls and tables felt imposing. In the back, the president sat at his desk. "Come in, Nick. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you."

He was graceful, attentive, and seemingly at ease—but something about his tired face said it all. The burden of leadership was weighing deeply on him, each decision affecting hundreds of employees. This was not the image of leadership I had envisioned. The office, the silence, the isolation—it was all too clear.

He seemed… No wait..he was lonely.

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The Hidden Cost of Leadership: Loneliness

It’s lonely at the top.

According to 2022 research by Deloitte, 30% of executives reported that they always or often feel lonely.

Despite the “power and influence” that come with leadership roles, this loneliness is an overlooked reality. Leaders are often expected to make tough decisions, bear the responsibility for the success or failure of their teams, and navigate complex, high-pressure environments. This weight can create an emotional distance between them and others, leaving leaders to shoulder the burden in isolation.

“Leadership is a fine thing, but it has its penalties. And the greatest penalty is loneliness”
- Ernest Shackleton

The pressure to maintain a professional persona, make decisions alone, and balance authority with relationships leaves many leaders feeling isolated, even in crowded rooms.

This loneliness can lead to stress and burnout ultimately affecting decision-making and leadership effectiveness. Leadership loneliness remains taboo, with many leaders feeling compelled to appear invicible. Acknowledging this reality is crucial for creating a more connected, supportive leadership culture.

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Practical Steps to Overcome Leadership Loneliness

Addressing leadership loneliness requires intentional actions to build connections and support. Here are some practical steps:

• Foster peer relationships: Connect with fellow leaders to share experiences and challenges.

• Leverage support networks: Join leadership communities to share insights and combat isolation.

• Seek mentorship: Gain guidance from trusted mentors to navigate tough decisions and share burdens.

• Prioritize authentic connections: Invest time in building genuine relationships with team members.

• Balance personal and professional life: Make time for personal interests and relationships outside of work to recharge and gain perspective.

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Take-Home Messages

🦉 Acknowledge the loneliness.

Recognizing this reality is the first step towards overcoming it and building a more supportive leadership culture.

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About the Author:

Nick is passionate about enabling people and businesses to reach their full potential. He taps into over 25+ years of truly diverse leadership experience, challenging the status quo - to ultimately define a clear strategic path forward and propel success.

Thought Leader | Board member | Founder of Aktina Group Consulting | Proud Father